This divorce feels like it may kill me ...?

I have good and bad days, but the bad days are there 99%. I can't function anymore. I am so heartbroken. I don't have any family/ friends. My husband was my best friend. I dont understand what happened. after 6 months he moved to his parents. he said that things were stressfull, and basically said for us to move on. I thought that we were going to be in love forever. The last arguement that we had was bad. When I was told that no 1 would want me, and that I was ugly...I was hurt. So I retaliated...when he left, some 1 asked me out for dinner, so out of spite I said yes, but all I ever did was talk and go home (alone) It just felt good 2 know that others still "notice" you. my estranged husband read my emails and found out about my date& said that it broke his heart, that he loved me until he found out I went out, and now he doesnt anymore. He blames my going out for the end of the marriage...but he is the 1 who left, even before that! What should I do. We haven't spoken in a week.